Sunday, October 07, 2007

Dreams about husband having an affair

Meaning of dreams involving betrayal by significant other / dreams about dangerous situations in cars

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The Dream:
I am with my husband. He is very tired. Then, suddenly, he becomes very animated. I realize that he has taken something, a drug of some kind. I am disturbed because he has not been doing this.

Then, I am with a woman in a car, talking about him. My husband had an affair with this woman before and I feel he is again having an affair with her. She is driving the car when she attempts to go up an embankment and gets stuck. The car is hanging almost vertical up the embankment when I turn to her and ask if she thinks my husband loves me.

Her reply is "It will be very hard for him not to spend my money".

Next, I'm back with my husband confronting him. I ask if he has slept with this woman again.

When he says yes, I throw a clock at him.

When I ask how long it's been going on, he answers "all along" and I slap him.

Then, his brother appears, laughing about it all, and says "why don't you leave this hell hole?"

Next, while my husband plays the piano and his brother the quitar, I begin packing but I'm not packing clothes or books, or stuff. I'm packing knick-knacks, art and other things that are valuable to collectors only.

Next, I'm at a booth selling these things I've packed.

There was a girl there with bracelets but I cannot remember the rest of the dream except that there was the amount $10 and the amount $300....not enough to know what that meant.

My take on the dream so far:

If you have read about my particular dream interpretation technique, you will know that I don't always have dreams about myself. Sometimes, people I know appear in my dream for healing work. So, my first assignment was to determine if this was about me or about my ex and his brother. When I sensed the tone of it, I knew it was all about me. They just showed up to accent some struggles for me but I wasn't working as a healer in this dream. It was all mine to deal with.

Several aspects became apparent very early. One was that I had unconsciously shifted to the addiction of spending money, after leaving the addiction of a dysfunctional marriage. I saw that I had become rather obsessed with spending and collecting and that it had simply replaced the energy that I used to use, trying to fix the unfixable.

I loved the brother's line about leaving the hell hole. Why don't we leave? It's amazing when I look back on it. I wonder how I could have missed the futility of staying as long as I did.

I also love that I threw a clock at my husband. How much more clear can it get? Wasted time.

And the husband's comment about how long the affair had been going on....all along. Wow. I never really completely dealt with this, I just switched my attention to another form of addiction.

The woman in the dream who says to me "it will be very hard for him not to spend my money" was, of course, talking about me. Because of him, and my inability to totally be still without that, I distract myself with spending. I cheat on myself with my own money.

My challenge is clear. I cannot allow myself to cheat on myself with money. I owe myself full presence in my life.

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