Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Dreams about dying

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I've made a trip away from home recently, sold one of my online web businesses, and turned my life in rather new and exciting directions. I've been dreaming a lot but haven't had time to record many of them.

In the recent month, I've had at least three dreams about dying or being killed. Contrary to what might be assumed about that, I see it as very positive in light of all that I've been trying to let go of (let die) and all I've been working to rebirth and manifest in my life.

In one dream, I was down below a gunman who was up above, on some kind of staircase or ledge. As I ran across an open area and hid behind a structure, I became aware that the gunman had come down from his ledge and was sneaking up, looking for me.

Suddenly, I realized he was right behind me and had the gun aimed at me. Seeing him somehow, behind me but visible, I could see it was the character of John Locke off the tv series Lost. Just as I realized who it was, he shot me. The bullet hit the right occipital lobe and I felt it hit very intensely but with no pain. I felt the tissues exploding and the bullet going in and I knew it was a mortal wound. Then I woke up.

To me, several things were significant. John Locke is about the only character on Lost that I identify with at all. He's the only one that seems to have any agenda outside his own needs. The only one that recognizes the interconnectedness of events. So, for John to have shot me, and to have shot me where he shot me, is significant.

The site of the bullet wound is directly, very directly, associated with a particular instance of child abuse that shut me down entirely, on a psychic level for many years. I consider that "explosion of tissue" to be a good sign that the work I'm doing to heal the past and release myself from fears and restrictions based on a moment from the past are successful.