Monday, October 16, 2006

Major Ego-Cleanup Dreams

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Dreamtime Tool

The Dream: A relative I know brings a suitcase in the house and tells me my cat has died, and is in the suitcase. He opens it and the cat falls out but starts a low growl in it's throat and we realize it is not dead at all. I tried to get my cat out but he doesn't know it's me immediately so I get some food and water and he tries to eat but then I realize part of his face if frozen. He turns to look at me and the entire area from under his eyes to the top of his mouth is frozen in ice.

I am very upset that he's been in the cold suitcase for this long and he's not even dead. The male relative who opened the suitcase tells me that Mom thought he was dead. She's not there. She's waiting outside in the car.

My take on the dream so far: Man, massive ego-clean-up dream (if that doesn't mean anything to you, please START HERE).

Here is the list of all the things that I was stressing over the day before (and woke up in the middle of the night, before this dream, still stressing over....

1. I am planning to travel but have concerns about leaving my cats because, while I have someone willing to come over and feed them, I have no one to be with them and make sure they get in at night and it's getting very cold here.

2. In planning my travel, I also have concerns about my Mom since her health has been fragile for some time now due to heart problems.

3. I hate cold weather, truly and deeply, and dread driving in it.

4. I have been releasing alcohol from my life in a very conscious way for some time now and the hardest times for me to choose staying free of it are when I'm stressed. I very consciously decided to drink again, after being completely alcohol-free for nine years. You can read about that part of my spiritual journey on this blog too but I don't know where that part starts...sorry.

Here are the correlations.....both the suitcase and mom being outside in the car point to travel.

Mom being in the car points to my concerns about leaving her and, perhaps, feelings I get from her that she wishes I wouldn't go too.

With my cat being inside the suitcase (representing the travel I want to do) that's directly addressing my fear of something happening to my cats while I'm away.

The fact that it's cold directly correlates to my very real dread of winter and, again, fear of the cats being caught outside overnight in the cold if they don't come when the cat-sitter calls them.

The male relative who had the suitcase also had a very serious drinking issue years ago so he was the perfect mirror for my own dance with that decision.

My cat's face being frozen points to all my fears....the cats being outside, getting cold and getting sick....me hating the cold.....and my struggles with letting go of concerns about my Mom's health.. etc.

I must say that's the most intense, obvious ego-clean up dream I've had in a long time. Not pleasant. It's a perfect outpicturing of what internal stress was doing to me and it's so good that we have the release mechanism of dreamtime to help us take the edge off these stressors.

It is my hope that, now that the ego-level stuff has been worked through a bit, it will open the door for a Medicine Dream.

Update, later in the day: The cat growling is not quite clear to me....I know he was angry that he'd be left for dead in the suitcase....not sure how that ties in and that may be the one element of the dream that is more than ego clean up. My personality self my be struggling far more deeply with feeling tied down right now, than I recognize on a conscious level because that's the only part of the dream that I can't tie directly into a known stressor.

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