Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Ego clean up dreamtime work done for now

Finally had a dream that wasn't ego clean-up stuff. Yippee!

Although the theme was the same as the other dreams - me, a man, another woman interfering - the tone and energy of the dream was completely different. As always, I consider how I feel in the dream, what the factors in the dream mean to me personally (not what i might read in a book as the meaning of a certain thing) and on waking, I ask what the dream was about in my life.

What was immediately significant about this dream, versus the clean-up dreams I've been having, was an absense of trauma. No roofs leaking, etc.

The energy of this dream was very geared toward working things out. I was on a movie set (for those who don't know I am actually a professional actress so this is an environment that has definite, specific meaning to me as the dream unfolds) and working thru a scene with a man.

Some of you may be familiar with the idea of the masculine self appearing in dreams, to help balance yin and yang aspects. This man had the definite feel of that, rather than being represenative of my ex-spiritual partner, as has been the case in the clean up dreams and the Medicine Dream that preceded the need for clean-up. You can read abou those experiences by checking previous posts here at the blog, to get the progression of where I am now.

So, I'm on the set and this man and myself are walking thru the blocking. Now, blocking has a connotation of obstacles, generally, but in film-making, blocking is all about optimal positioning. When an actor moves and where they go on that move, are crucial to everyone being seen by the camera, good angles on any action that is occurring, lighting, everything.

Interesting side note.....while I am typing this entry for the blog, I get a phone call. It is from wardrobe on a film called "Two Weeks" in which I was recently cast in a role opposite Matthew Perry - Synchronicity!

On with the dream. Blocking has a connotation to me not so much of obstacles but as that which would illuminate blockages before they become problems. You do the blocking before the film roles to avoid problems when you are actually getting something on tape. So....I felt really good about the dream being involved with that aspect of filming.

And sure enough, there was an obstacle revealed. You guessed it, another woman. Ha. But, like I said before, nothing in this dream felt like ego clean-up so I knew on examining this other woman in the scene that she did not represent the actual "other woman" that helped end my spiritual marriage.

This woman represented an aspect of myself that was blocking me. In the dream, the man and I have worked out our own exchanges in the scene except for one, the most important one. We are working thru that when this woman, our fellow actor, comes between us just at the crucial moment we are about to kiss (I see the kiss as representing a balance of my male and female energies).

She has the wrong blocking and has come in too soon.

The woman in my dream is an actor I know on tv so that is always significant as well. In dreamtime work, I don't ask what type of character the actor normally plays or anything like that to determine why they are there. Instead, I consider what I personally think about that actor.

In this case, the woman was oriental and off a brand new show that I don't think has even aired at time of posting this entry. It's called Gray's Anatomy. If this lady ever reads this, please forgive the critique on your acting but in the interest of showing how you figured in the dream, I have to be honest.

I have seen this woman in one thing before, not sure what.....can't recall but she was pregnant in it. oh, yes, i think it was tuscan sun, with diane lane. Anyway, I felt she was too small, character-wise. I couldn't see into her much. I wanted her to be more expressive in some emotionally raw way that just wasn't accessible. When I saw her again on the commercials for the new show, I thought the same thing again. Where are you? I seemed to ask. I wanta see the real you. The other thing I thought was that her energy was too masculine for the parts she's getting cast in.

So, for her to be the woman interfering with the kiss is highly significant. If she represents a part of me, as I believe she does, then that part of me is blocking balance. And the way she is blocking me is by not being emotionally available.
That, and being too masculine in her expression.

A lot to work on with this dream.

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