Sunday, April 24, 2005

Dreams about quitting work

The yellow pants and black undies dream:

I'm working as a massage therapist. I am supposed to wear a specific uniform. In the dream, a woman who is African-American comes in to inspect my uniform. She tells me it isn't right. Specifically, she says my underwear should not be black and should not be so narrow. (In normal life, I don't wear thongs but in the dream I was wearing something close to a thong).

I was also wearing bright yellow pants (another item I don't have in my wardrobe) and I remember knowing that the pants were not acceptable either, in that work environment.

After this evaluation, I went to speak to my boss and supervisor. They were male and female, respectively. As we were discussing the evaluation, I decided I would not comply and was going to quit. I told the boss and the supervisor this and they both calmly accepted my decision.

The boss began preparing to write my check up to date, which would be in the amount of $163.00.

The last thing I remember is knowing the supervisor's name and associating that name with a woman I knew in real life, about 4-5 years ago..

My take on the dream so far:

I forgot to ask, on waking, what this dream was about so I'm having a harder time getting in touch with that than if I had asked. It's one of the fundamental habits to get into with dreamtime work. Don't wait. Ask as soon as you realize you are awake and that you have been dreaming.

The first thing that strikes me is the general tone of the dream, from start to finish. Although it is dealing with issues that could be considered stressful, there is no panic, there is no anger, and none of the players in the dream is particularly agressive. Even the woman doing the evaluation is not pushing or hateful, just stating the facts according to her job.

I am not upset either, when I decide to quit. It is a calm, rational decision based on the situation.

So I feel I am working with an issue that I am fully ready to resolve and release or there would have been more energy behind the whole process, probably more conflict and certainly more chaos.

The other factor pointing to a stable, easy transition of change is that I had both a male and female "superior", representing male and female self, and both were calm and rational and supportive of my decision to quit.

Since quitting is an act, a male force decision, it is natural that the boss would be male and the supervisor female. It feels very balance and sane.

The bright yellow pants are interesting because, in my awareness, bright yellow is a color often associated with the personality self and it's issues. However, the chakra associated is the solar plexus and the fact that only my pants were fellow points to lower chakra issues from an ego perspective, probably second and/or first chakra issues feeding thru the lens of my personality self.

Further support for that idea is in the appearance of black thongs. I wear comfortable panties, not thongs. And usually not black. The fact that the panties were black and the woman evaluating me also African-American is significant. Usually, unless I know the person in the dream or there is a situation of conflict with someone I know who actually is African-American, the appearance of a darker-skinned person than myself usually points to a darker, or deeper, side aspect of an issue. Something I'm not looking at. Maybe even something I'm afraid of.

The fact that the thongs are worn in the first chakra area further suports that perhaps this dream is a struggle between my innate sexual nature and my personality self image of that nature. - the yellow pants, covering the black thongs, both of which were deemed inappropriate for the workplace.

Working as a massage therapist might seem tied into sexuality because there are still some people who associate massage with sexual touch. I'm not one of them though, so this message takes on a different meaning in my dream paradigm.

I love massage. Due to the amount of time I spend typing every day, my neck and shoulders would turn to stone without it. For me, it's not a luxury but a necessity. However, in the dream, I wasn't getting massage but giving it.

If I think of working as a massage therapist, I don't want to do that. Even doing reflexology on more than 3 people in one day is very physically demanding on the upper arms and hand muscles, and upper back. I can't imagine doing that every day but I'm so very grateful that there are those who will do it.

So, I'm in a work environment I wouldn't choose to begin with, wearing clothing that is inappropriate and faced with changing or quitting. I decide to quit.

Taken at face value, this could address a struggle I've been in, with myself, lately over work in general. I have always worked too hard, much harder than I had to; much harder than was reasonable or expected, even when I worked for others. I could see this dream as a decision to stop doing that. But....there's more to it because of the yellow pants and black panties.

Aha, just got a glimmer of knowing. The first chakra is tied into sexuality, true, and I've had as many sexual issues as the next person. But, it is also tied into survival and I've had far more survival issues than sexuality issues in my life. Aho. I think I'm onto something.

And the the dollar amount of my last check - $163.00. That has to be signficant. One thing that comes to mind is that it adds up to 10 which then breaks down to 1, in numerology. 1 is the number of new beginnings and that would jibe with the message of the ants, in the Marcia Cross dream, that I'm ending a cycle of experience and beginning a new one.

This is about survival thinking. I'll have to let the message of the dream unfold further. I'll post a resolve when that happens.

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