Saturday, July 02, 2005

Dreams About College Dorms

In this dream, I'm in a college dorm. I've just been assigned my room and have gone to look at it. It is a lovely room on the first floor. I know that rooms on the first floor in this dorm are coveted and I'm glad I have one. Then, for no reason that I recall, I decide to go upstairs and look at some of the rooms on the 2nd and 3rd floors. What I find there upsets me because all those rooms are in bad disarray. There are a few students there who are obiously busy trying to fix things up but the rooms are just terrible. Pieces of plywood lean against walls. The floors are ugly, and in bad shape as are the walls. As I go from one room down a hall, I notice an old bed and metal bed frame sort of strewn on the floor.

I am very sad for these students, that they have to live like this while I have that lovely room downstairs on the first floor.

Literally speaking, a dorm room is a temporary dwelling - a place to be while you learn something. I sense this meaning holds for the dream as well. It was a temporary structure within which I was to learn something, literally.

It's interesting that things got worse the higher I went. I equate this to an often simplistic view of spiritual advancement. I, and of course many others, once felt there would come a time when I would just be in bliss. I would have transcended all the struggles of the ego and earthly life and would know only joy. It hasn't unfolded that way for me. As I progress to higher levels of spiritual awareness, it has become harder and harder to then just go back and "chop wood and carry water" as before.

The night after I had this dream, I also decided that I would not be making the trip to Arizona for Sundance. This was not an easy decision to make. There was anquish and tears. My conflict is between what I believe was clear spiritual guidance to go and my eventual unwillingness to put myself through what going would involve. I've been to three Sundances in my life. During and after each one, I felt as if I would die. Physically. I've never been a physically active person and I've never done well in the sun. Those two elements of fact plus the tremendous, tremendous energy that is present, flowing and penetrating at such ceremonies proved devastating to me before, on a physical level. Three times before.

Were there blessings from the pain? Oh heavens, yes. I wouldn't take anything for the experiences I had at the Sundance Tree or the awareness that came from those experiences. On the other hand, I am 50 years old and not nearly so willing to push my body beyond it's capabilities.

So, while I am not sure what the total meaning of the dream is, and probably won't know that until it unfolds in my consciousness completely, I believe Spirit was telling me that I have a lovely first floor room in the "dorm" right now and that trying to go higher in consciousness would result in a desolate environment for my soul. I believe the other students represented parts of myself that projected forward, to show me the result of going. I asked what the students represented on evaluating the dream and I got that they represented potential "me's".

I have severe lessons that I am dealing with right now and going to a ceremony like Sundance could inflame those issues beyond my ability to deal with them. I am learning with age that sometimes the slower, more gentle path is the best path.

My prayers will be those at Sundance and my energetic support will reach them there in Arizona, from my lovely dorm room here.

No comments: