Monday, August 15, 2005

Dreams about Squid

To my knowledge, this is the only time in my life I've ever dreamed of a squid. In reviewing my dreams, if I have asked for help in a specific area of my life the night before, I assume first of all that the dream is, in some way, addressing the issue about which I have asked for guidance. The night before this dream, I asked specifically for help with a decision I faced concerning a trip to Oregon. My concerns were that my health might not be up to the trip. Specifically, due to circulatory challenges I've been addressing (and about which I've written in this blog) I was concerned about air pressure during flight. Also, I was concerned that this trip might be filling an ego need but not a higher self need.

I wanted to go because they are auditioning for the film version of Neale Donald Walsh's classic Converstations with God. As an actor, I've craved being able to be involved in films of substance. Although I know an actor can illuminate any character with Light, and that laughter heals as much as the strong emotional release of drama, I have desired to be involved in a project with a clear spiritual message. However, I've learned that what I desire is not always in alignment with what God desires for me so I approach such decisions carefully.

The dream is exceedingly brief. I'm at the edge of a fantastical pool of water. It almost looks like it's an animated film,the colors are so deep and vivid. My mother is there. I suddenly point to her and say look. About that time a squid leaps from the water. It seems to be in it's own tunnel of water around it as it moves thru the air.

It begins to literally pummel me, very specifically with it's tip. It is hitting the same spot over and over, on the left side of my neck. It has a jack-hammer action and is hitting quite hard but not to the point of pain.

OK, so first I assume this is showing me something about what I have asked for. The dream contains information about the trip to Oregon I am facing.

The first thing of significance is that my Mom is there and that I want her to see the squid. This says to me that the struggle I'm having over this trip is somehow tied into belief systems that I got from my Mom. On reflection, I know what belief systems are referred to here.

The second significant thing, and it is highly significant, is the area of the neck where the squid is focused. I've had a tremendous amount of body work done over the past three or four years. I've spared no expense. If I could afford it, I did it. This has included massage, chiropractic, cranio-sacral and other therapies. Over the years, I've noticed a definite pattern to the way my body holds tension. The left side draws up. Particularly the neck and hip. That side of my neck has been chronically shorter than the right for years and it is only recently, with a lot of physical work combined with a lot of spiritual work, begun to balance out. So, that area on my neck speaks to me loudly of resistance, of fear, of holding patterns that are unhealthy. And the squid was just pummeling that area. No where else. Just there. So, this tells me that part of my struggle with this decision stems from my own chronic patterns of reacting and storing tension by closing down or drawing up the left side. The female side. I've spoke of this more than once in this blog.

Also interesting to me is that, energetically speaking as a healer, just above the point where the squid was adjusting me is where I see the energy shift from male to female. The right side of the brain controls the left side of the body and vice versa. So the female side of the body is left but the female side of the brain is right. We are wonderfully made. I think God crossed our circuits at the neck so that no side could completely rule. Male and female energy balance is the goal. This whole dream speaks of resistance, fear, and male/female imbalance.

How does this translate? Oh, lord. I've been trying for three days to "make something happen". That is pure male energy. To do, to create, to take action. I've hardly utilized the female aspects of creation at all....being, breathing, meditating, releasing, listening.

In my spiritual path, I've become very aware of the wisdom of the non-human universe. I believe entirely in the power of totem animals. I feel I have certain totems that are mine for life and then other "Power Teachers" who come when I need them. I most definitely see this squid as a Power Teacher. When I read about the spiritual medicine of squid in Animal Wise by Ted Andrews, I find wisdom. I learn that a squid has the rare ability to "make out the shape of its focus very clearly even in low light conditions". Squid is associated with shapeshifting, the ablity to change your shape. Expressive body language is another of the gifts of squid medicine.

So what do I do with all this information? First, I consciously shift my intention from doing to being, from male to female. I then find some music I really like to move to and use my expressive body language to release restriction, resistance and fear in my body toward this decision facing me. The difference is palpable. For the first time in three days, I can let this go and surrender it to the Higher Will. Whatever happens after this, I'll be ok with that. I have set my intent clearly and now it's time to release it and move on.

No comments: