Monday, June 05, 2006

Dreams about Auditions and Inability to get somewhere important

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The Dream:
I don't recall all the wonderful levels of nuance in this dream that were apparent on waking. It is often enough that I spend time evaluating all the levels on waking up but it would be nice to remember them now to share with you. This is what I recall....

I am somewhere away from home, not sure where. I get a call that I have an audition. I am looking for some way to get to the audition and I think I can ride with a woman who is there at the same place I am visiting. I see her at a doorway, with some young kids and realize she is leaving so I go to ask if I can ride with her. However, I can't find her and next thing I recall, I realize she has already left.

I start to get in a car and drive to the audition which is apparently in Atlanta Georgia, but as I start to leave I realize I have less than two hours to get there and I probably won't make it. I have one foot inside the car and the other one the ground as I debate whether to rush to Atlanta, on hopes of getting there in time to audition, or just not go.

My take on the dream so far:
The first significant sign in this dream is that I know the woman I hope to catch a ride with. She is someone I went to school with and their family surname is "barron". As is often the case with dreamtime symbols and messages, I instinctively know this word has meaning for me, specific to the message of the dream. Instead of "barron", I saw "barren".
This dream is quite literal for me. As a performance artist, I spent a couple of very expensive months in Los Angeles looking for acting work. Then, the traffic got to me and I decided to come back home to the south. Now, I'm facing a decision of whether to return again for the fall casting season or not. The dream is telling me, in no uncertain terms, that going back now would not be a very smooth trip for me. I find that, when I'm conflicted over something to a strong degree, getting good results is almost impossible.
I remain very conflicted about returning to Los Angeles. I truly, deeply hate the bumper to bumper traffic. Going 10 miles can take an hour and a half. Coming back can take that long as well. I think about that a lot. Driving for 3 hours of every day (and that's assuming I just have one audition - some days, you might have as many as three). is not my idea of good time AT ALL.

I'm also literally checking out different ways to get there that might be less traumatic for me than driving or flying. I've checked on trains but that would take 4 to 5 days. There just is no easy way to do this.

My sitting there with one foot in the car and one still on the ground, debating, is a sure representation of my own internal conflict about going or staying.

The dream is telling me that trying to go back while I'm still this conflicted about it will only result in frustration and barren results.


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