Wednesday, June 23, 2010

An Absense of Dreams

What do you do when you've already done it all?

Of course, I haven't done it all, by far.  However, I've done a lot of the things that were attached to dreams in my younger years. 

This isn't the first time I've pondered what happens, exactly, when goals go.

I haven't had what I'd call a life goal for a long time now, years in fact.  And I admit I feel adrift a lot, without specific direction.  It's uncomfortable.

However, when I look back on my life, and this is without exception, the times when I was most goal-oriented do not feel any better than the adrift feeling I have now....

I was distracted a lot by goals.  They kept me very, very busy.  It's only in hindsight that I can see I was distracted rather than purposefully moving forward to what I believed would be something worth gaining.

Without distraction, I am left with me, myself and I in the big ole cosmos.

It's ok.  It's all good in the end.  This, I still believe.

I guess my life goal, in as much as I have one, is to live more and more in the space between things and to keep the four agreements to the best of my ability.

When I am there, I feel as if all this third-dimensional stuff that distracts me fades and I am a little closer to home.  Then, money issues or health issues or family challenges or the collective mindset around "finding your life purpose" intrude and the space between things blurs into solidity.  The solidness of this illusion is confounding but persistent.  Seeking balance.

No comments: