Having a nightmare about having a nightmare

Dreams within Dreams ....
Suggested reading:  Medicine Dreams Diary

A friend of mine had a nightmare. In the nightmare, she was dreaming she was asleep, having a nightmare.  Now, that can just make my head hurt if  I let it.

What do you think a dream like that would mean, or could mean?

For me, it feels like her soul is showing her that the pain she is in right now, as heavy and dense as it might seem to every part of her being, as real as it might seem, is something she is waking up from.  Sometimes, when we wake up from ways we've been mistreating ourselves, it can still feel like we're in the dream.

Curious to know what others might think of this.

Shadrach Village Web Series Launches!

It's a magical place!

I launched a new webisode show called Shadrach Village.

It's about a group of people who leave mainstream work and world to bring their dreams back alive.  They walk out on comfort to live in an old warehouse with no electricity or running water, because they feel like they are suffering even more greatly by living lives that don't make sense anymore.

Princess Oleska is the self-proclaimed leader of the village and it is all made possible by the generous contribution of the warehouse space by The Flushings, of Flushing Plumbing.

So, if you feel like you might remember just a little of something magic ... some dream that you had to lay down for one reason or another ... maybe a trip to the village is just what you need!

Update 2017: The platform for the webseries was taken down in 2012. I miss it and hope another mass production tv platform will open up soon so Shadrach Village can continue.

A New Direction for Dream Speak

Dreams in General

Since I decided to move my dream interpretation work over to my medicine dreams diary, I pondered closing Dream Speak.  I hated to do it though since I have so much content here but what else could Dream Speak be about but dreams.....

Oh, snap.  It could be about dreams for your life.  Goals, dreams, things you want to do, etc.

That's kinda funny too cause I'm about out of those, those kinds of dreams.

I did do a test the other day, designed to help you find your life purpose.  It was quite interesting in that it sort of brought me full circle to how I started out a healing facilitator.  For many years, I seemed to work almost exclusively with those who were ready to heal the inner child and reclaim their original essence.

Then, my work broadened and sort of went away from that somewhat.

When I did this test, you were supposed to brainstorm things you wanted to do until something you wrote down induced tears.  What brought me to tears was this idea of learning to play with others again like children, to recapture the innocence, creative courage and boundless energy of children and to help others find those things within themselves.

So, full circle back to the child within.

How does that look as a life purpose?  I don't know.  Maybe that's what I'll blog about here now.

Dreams about acting; dreams about janitors

The Dream: I was talking with a janitor in an elevator. He said he was in a play and that the director was wanting him to nail the character, get the part right and then play it that way. The janitor said he didn't want to do that; that he was purposely playing the character entirely different every night and wanted to do it that way.


My take on the dream so far:
I really understood a lot of what this dream was saying to me, almost immediately.  The elevator was going up, not down, which is significant to my state of mind when I went to bed.  I was actively reaching outward to my soul group for information on my life path and asking for clarity.

A janitor takes care of other people's messes, basically, so the fact that it was a janitor who was telling me this was also significant.  I have felt, for quite some time, that my work as a spiritual healing facilitator was shifting and wanting to be more about allowing space for others to clean up their own lives rather than facilitating energy for them to do so.

And finally, I'm an actor so the reference to playing the part entirely different with each performance was not lost on me as a metaphysical reference to life.

Will be thinking on these things in days to come, for sure.

Related resources:  Hypnosis for actors > Vocal Training for Performers > Hypnosis for Stand Up Comedians

Dreamtime Blog Update

Dreamspeak Future Uncertain

I have started an online dream interpretation diary at my main website so I'm not sure I can maintain two dreamscapes online.

Just to recap how I work with my dreams:
Copyright, Neva J. Howell, all rights reserved

I ask, before going to bed, for dreamtime assistance and messages.

When I wake, I take a moment to see if I remember a dream or not.

If I do, I then start to ask questions - is the dream about me, is it for someone else?

I notice things that stand out in the dream - colors, numbers, odd things.

I use these as clues to note parts of the dream that may be spiritually significant.

Dreams about husband having an affair

Meaning of dreams involving betrayal by significant other / dreams about dangerous situations in cars

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The Dream:
I am with my husband. He is very tired. Then, suddenly, he becomes very animated. I realize that he has taken something, a drug of some kind. I am disturbed because he has not been doing this.

Then, I am with a woman in a car, talking about him. My husband had an affair with this woman before and I feel he is again having an affair with her. She is driving the car when she attempts to go up an embankment and gets stuck. The car is hanging almost vertical up the embankment when I turn to her and ask if she thinks my husband loves me.

Her reply is "It will be very hard for him not to spend my money".

Next, I'm back with my husband confronting him. I ask if he has slept with this woman again.

When he says yes, I throw a clock at him.

When I ask how long it's been going on, he answers "all along" and I slap him.

Then, his brother appears, laughing about it all, and says "why don't you leave this hell hole?"

Next, while my husband plays the piano and his brother the quitar, I begin packing but I'm not packing clothes or books, or stuff. I'm packing knick-knacks, art and other things that are valuable to collectors only.

Next, I'm at a booth selling these things I've packed.

There was a girl there with bracelets but I cannot remember the rest of the dream except that there was the amount $10 and the amount $300....not enough to know what that meant.

My take on the dream so far:

If you have read about my particular dream interpretation technique, you will know that I don't always have dreams about myself. Sometimes, people I know appear in my dream for healing work. So, my first assignment was to determine if this was about me or about my ex and his brother. When I sensed the tone of it, I knew it was all about me. They just showed up to accent some struggles for me but I wasn't working as a healer in this dream. It was all mine to deal with.

Several aspects became apparent very early. One was that I had unconsciously shifted to the addiction of spending money, after leaving the addiction of a dysfunctional marriage. I saw that I had become rather obsessed with spending and collecting and that it had simply replaced the energy that I used to use, trying to fix the unfixable.

I loved the brother's line about leaving the hell hole. Why don't we leave? It's amazing when I look back on it. I wonder how I could have missed the futility of staying as long as I did.

I also love that I threw a clock at my husband. How much more clear can it get? Wasted time.

And the husband's comment about how long the affair had been going on....all along. Wow. I never really completely dealt with this, I just switched my attention to another form of addiction.

The woman in the dream who says to me "it will be very hard for him not to spend my money" was, of course, talking about me. Because of him, and my inability to totally be still without that, I distract myself with spending. I cheat on myself with my own money.

My challenge is clear. I cannot allow myself to cheat on myself with money. I owe myself full presence in my life.

Overwhelming Situations in dreams

The meaning of being overwhelmed by situations in dreams / dreams about being unable to complete tasks / dreams involving people from a specific time in your life

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The Dreams:
The past two nights, I've had dreams with a common theme in that I felt overwhelmed in them. In the first one, I am a kitchen worker of some type. I seem to be responsible for feeding a crew of men. In the dream, I am either working with or actually am a girl with whom I attended school with, from elementary up through high school.

I remember repeatedly trying to complete tasks, only to have another crop up and take my attention. For example, I was trying to make plates for some of the men and then realized I needed to make coffee but when I tried to make coffee, I looked over and saw all these trays of fruit (I remember cantaloupe in particular but there were other fresh fruits there too) and realized I needed to do something about them.

I woke from the dream in the early morning hours, and was unable to sleep afterwards for some time. I felt tired and drained.

The second dream, last night, has already retreated from my memory but I do recall feeling completely overwhelmed in it as well.

My take on the dream so far:

Anytime I have a dream with someone I know in it, I consider what I feel about that person in real life, to find clues of why I may have chosen them to represent something in the dream.

If I think of this person, I remember her as being extremely serious, extremely intelligent, very quiet, and somewhat dull. I believe she was also abused as a child so this is part of my memory of her. She also had psoriasis, which is a skin condition that I associate with emotional repression of some kind.

Also, I look at the feeling aspect of the dream. In both dreams, the main component was a feeling of being overwhelmed.

On the surface, it's easy to see that this dream is about my being overwhelmed in some aspect. What is harder to trace is the specific area of overwhelm. In my case, at this point in time, it could be a lot of things.

If I take into account the factors....who was in the dream, what was in the dream (serving the male and fresh fruit stand out) and the feeling aspect, which was overwhelm, my initial reaction to the dream, it becomes very symbolically rich.

My take on it all is fuzzy, at best, so far. I sense that I'm being shown ways that I distract myself, divide my energies and force the feminine aspect of being into service to the male aspect of doing. It points to male/female imbalance at an energetic level, probably from belief systems that started during the abusive part of my childhood. It also points to a lack of ability to access the sweetness in my life (evidenced by the abundance of fresh fruit and my inability in the dream, to focus on it long enough to serve any).

Lots to think on.

Update: 10/07/07

I've been pondering the significance of the old school mate who showed up in this dream. I can now see how perfect the choice was, and applaud my dreamtime intelligence in choosing her.

When I recount what I remember about her that stands out in terms of forming impressions, I could be talking about myself. I don't have psoriasis but, aside from that, all the other attributes apply - like my schoolmate, I remember myself as at that age and see that I also considered myself extremely intelligent (I remember crying on the bus because I got a B+ on some test - it was unthinkable that I'd get anything other than an A), I was even more serious than I remember my friend ever being, I had been abused as a child and I certainly had emotional repression.

So, looking back on the dream with this new focus, I can see that it was dealing with belief systems about myself that were set up in junior high school. It helps to know that because then I can work with that aspect of myself, specifically, and ask for more clarification and instruction.

I consider cellular release of inner child trauma to be vital where there are issues of abuse. I have met a few healers who know how to do this work, either on a conscious level or just instinctively, and hope that more in the healing field will recognize the importance of addressing core issues at a cellular level.

This is what I intend to do for that part of myself, that junior high self who was too serious, too smart and too repressed.

a good ritual for releasing past trauma

Dreams about Vampires

Dreams about evil vampires / dreams involving celebrities / Doctor Bailey on Gray's Anatomy in dreams

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The Dream: I remember very little.

I remember standing at a doorway, listening to a conversation between two people who worked at the same place I worked. I suddenly realize that they are evil vampires, and I do mean EVIL.

They are hissing and saying something about "a despicable person".

I decide I can't work in such an environment and tell the woman I work for, who reminded me of Doctor Bailey on Grey's Anatomy.

My take on the dream so far: I very rarely take sleep aids, and even more rarely take prescription sleep aids but it so happens I did take one that night. How much did that impact my dreamtime? Not sure.

I can see these two vampires as aspects of myself but, in my current situation and all that I'm dealing with in my life so far, I can't see what part of me they are representing.......

I do know I feel drained a lot and am aware that it is my own reaction to family situations that causes it. I feel responsible for things I should not feel responsible for.

I feel this is definitely some sort of shadow self dream but am not sure what the message is for me. I did not get the sense, as I do sometimes and sometimes it is valid, that others were in my dreamtime representing themselves as energy vampires. I think both aspects were me and I really think it represents how I drain myself with all my concerns about family obligations, etc.

Dreamtime Facilitation Tool: Learn to recall your dreams at will

Suggested reading: Why Evil Exists

Dreaming of the past

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Maybe it's because it has been so hot at night....don't know but I've had three dreams about my ex-spiritual partner and they were pretty darn steamy.

Believe it or not, I think menopause is to blame.

I entertain no wish to return to the life I left with this man, even though I will always love him. However, my libido is awakening after about 7 years asleep and I guess he is the obvious one to have in my dreams in that case, since I was with him for 7 years and loved him more than I've ever loved anyone.

I don't place any particular significance to these dreams as any kind of sign that I still want to have a relationship with him. The main reason I don't feel that way is because I always ask what my dreams are about when I wake (Well, almost always) and what I got from these, each time, was that is was hormonal realignment within.

The dreams started when I started taking 5 mg. of micronized dhea. I don't even take it every day but still, it has definitely jump-started some physical feelings I haven't had in a long time. They are not entirely welcome except that I know passion equals fullness of life and sexual energy can be channelled in ways that support vibrant living.

The Power of Three

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The Power of Three:

I have had big, big changes since the last time I posted here. I've been traveling for about a month and have not had access to a computer to post dreams but I sure have been having some!

For example, I had three dreams in about a week with the same theme......my car was being stolen.

There are so many things this could mean but before I even looked at that, I acknowledge the power of three.

There is something about that, metaphysically speaking. 3 is a triangulation of something important, and a sign that something significant is being worked out, at least in my life. Three dreams, or a dream of three parts, quite often represents a beginning, middle and end of some process for me.

However, I did not journal these three dreams so I can't share that with you here but I can point out the obvious.....I had just sold my house, packed a lot of what I wanted to keep into my car, and become a gypsy of sorts.

Obviously, dreaming that my car was stolen was quite a literal fear of losing what I had chosen to keep. Also, the whole process of becoming consciously homeless....quite frightening for me on a lot of levels.

I haven't had that type of dream again, after the three dreams in quick succession (sp?) so I assume I've worked through whatever I was dealing with at the time.

My dreams lately have become more of the nature I used to have, in that I am often working with friends in a healing capacity or being worked with in a Medicine Way. Although I know all dreams are valuable, I must say I prefer these!

Anyway, not sure how much internet access I'll have over the coming months but will post as often as I can

Inspirational Words

I got this email after a night of tossing and turning, wrestling with my mind, attempting to think nothing, or at least nothing that had worry attached to it. It is a great reminder that living in the future, even for a second, robs us of the present moment.

You Reading This, Be Ready Starting here, what do you want to remember?

How sunlight creeps along a shining floor?

What scent of old wood hovers, what softened sound from outside fills the air?

Will you ever bring a better gift for the world than the breathing respect that you carry wherever you go right now?

Are you waiting for time to show you some better thoughts?

When you turn around, starting here, lift this new glimpse that you found; carry into evening all that you want from this day.

This interval you spent reading or hearing this, keep it for life -

What can anyone give you greater than now, starting here, right in this room, when you turn around?

~ William Stafford ~


(The Way It Is)

Web version: www.panhala.net/Archive/Be_Ready.html

Poems and Art by Mary has some sweet poems too

Dreams about Snakes; Dreams about Fears

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The Dream: I'm in water, like a stream or creek, and I see two rattlesnakes under the bank. Next, I see a man in the water and I warn him that there are rattlesnakes in the water. He seems very surprised and says he hasn't seen a single one. I tell him they are near the bank.

At just that moment, a snake appears in the water and starts coming aggressively toward me. I scramble to the bank just as the snake strikes but then realize that the snake is not giving up, but trying to strike again. I wake.

My take on the dream so far: Part of my own dreamtime technique involves awareness of current struggles and challenges, and current focus. A lot of the time, just reflecting on what I'm working with spiritually helps determine the meaning of the dream. The same dream, at a different time, might have a different meaning but seen through the lens of current experience, this one is clearly about manifesting what I fear.

Lately, I've been working with my consciousness to shift belief systems around fear and manifestation. I've seen in my own life that, even if i don't actually manifest what I fear, the fear of manifesting it robs me of joy in the present moment. Dwelling on what I fear has never proven to be particularly progressive, in other words.

Thoughts are magnetic energy. There's a movie around right now called "The Secret" that talks about this but it isn't a new idea. Thoughts create our reality. So, if we are thinking of what we fear all the time, and thought is magnetic, guess what we draw? Yeah, rattlesnakes under the bank.

Snakes have always been about huge, transmutational change in my life so the fact that my fear presented itself in the dream as a snake indicates that I am truly shifting this in a big way. That felt good. Also good that the snake was in water. Water almost always, in my dream landscape, represents emotions. The dream would have had a different meaning for me if the water had been swirling, dirty or, in some other way, unusual. Here, it was perfectly calm water. The emotions were calm in the wake of fear, the snake. Also, the male self being calm and presenting
the other perspective....a snake-free reality, was a wonderful message of integration.

Spiritual Consciousness Shift

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A Consciousness Shift
I have recently achieved a consciousness shift that I've been working toward my whole life. I'm certain this shift will affect the way I post dreams in the future because my dreamtime work has to change as well.

I have been in the spiritual awakening process on a conscious level since about 1991. One of the teachings I have heard over and over, and read over and over, is that we have a Higher Self that remembers more of who we are on a spiritual level and we have a lower self, which is more ego-based and involved in the smaller version of who we are.

This ego-based lower self wants what it wants when it wants it. The higher self realizes that forging ahead to make something happen before the universe is aligned with it can create delay, more struggle, and a diversion from our true path.

Does this all sound familiar?

If you've been on the spiritual path very long, I'm sure it does.I've had a huge shift around that but I'm not yet able to fully articulate it. However, what I see happening with my dreams is that there are more brief and to the point. You will see what I mean when I post the next few dreams.

Dreams about Family Members in Pain

Note: I'm not saying who the relatives are in this dream because it deals with personal information about their lives and they might one day read it.

THE DREAM:
Two relatives of mine are playing a game. I'm told at the beginning of the dream, by a voice behind and above me, that this is a game.

The two relatives have agreed to cut off both their feet at the ankles if they lose this game and apparently, they both lost.

I see them with their feet cut off. It is truly horrible. (I have written elsewhere in my blog that it is my experience that bloody, violent, or otherwise unforgettable dreams are often the most signicant and that they don't necessarily point to mental imbalance, unsupressed anger, or any of the other psychological labels sometimes put on them. If that type of dream is all a person has, then yes, I'd look into it, but the degree of struggle around an issue often demands very powerful imagery to underscore the signficance of the dream).

One of the relatives is calmly walking around on these newly bandaged stubs and I'm following her, just literally at the point of pulling my own hair out, I'm so disturbed. I'm begging her to sit down. I tell her she is hurting herself. She just continues and takes clothes out of the dryer, saying "It doesn't feel that way.". She cannot feel the pain.

What is significant is that this relative is in a house she no longer lives in. I remember that time in her life. It was probably the most miserable she's ever been because she was in a marriage that wasn't working. She has struggles with self-esteem and sesrious money problems.

I stayed with her and her family for a time and remember the pain I felt there, years later.


MY TAKE ON THE DREAM SO FAR:
The important thing for me was the way the dream started, with the voice informing me that what I was about to see was a game. And the answer from my relative when I tried to stop her from hurting herself, that it didn't feel that way to her, was also significant.

In my spiritual awareness, every one of us makes the highest choice we can, given where we are at any moment in time. I am also acutely aware that this is a human experience but that we are so much more than our human experience. And even our most painful human experience will seem like a game to us, looked at from higher levels.

This dream also taught me that what I want for others is my own creation. They each must have the freedom to live their life exactly as they wish to live it, even when that looks painfully wrong to me.

For whatever reason her soul may have had, this relative who was folding the laundry chose to sort of "hobble" herself in a relationship for a number of years. As a result, she now tells me that she is stronger, and knows what love really should be like.

Could it have been easier for her? Well, could it have been easier for you? For me? Looking back on my own life, I certainly see times where no one could have stopped me from making a decision that caused me a lot of pain. But I also see what I learned from it.

The other relative who was there, also hobbled by the game, was actually there as a spiritual being. I know this relative well. She is still a child in earth years, but an amazing little medicine worker on other levels.

Dreams about Family Members

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Dream Development Resource



I've mentioned elsewhere on this blog that, due to my decades of work as a spiritual healing facilitator, I often work with people in my dreams. Contrary to those who teach that every person in a dream represents part of you, I absolutely know that there are times when the persons in my dreams represent themselves.

In this dream, the relatives who showed up were showing me my greatest fear for them and showing me that I had a choice about that fear.

THE DREAM:
I have just been told that my brother and mother have died. Just as I am beginning to go into hysterical grief, I hear my brother's voice. He is talking to someone outside the room I am in.
I go out and see he and my mother conversing. I wonder how this is possible and I say to my mother "I don't want to let you go."

She turns to me and says bluntly "Well, then, don't."

She seems a little impatient with the whole conversation, as if I should know the answer.

MY TAKE ON THE DREAM SO FAR:
I have been strongly considering traveling for a while, which would mean leaving my mom. She has had a couple of heart attacks over the past few years and my fear is that I'll leave and she will die. I think she and my brother both appeared in this dream to remind me that we live on.

The other side of that is my choice. If I stay, to be sure I'm here if anything happens, that is my choice. I can not let go by not leaving. Or I can let go, whether I leave or not, and realize that the end of life here is the beginning of life somewhere else.

People we love will tend to show up in the way that we need them to show up. That gets created by the balance of love and fear. The more fear, the more they will need to show up in ways that support the fear. I think Mom is tired of me holding her energetically in that sick place. I need to start remembering who she really is, a divine being of God having the perfect physical experience her soul needs.

Major Ego-Cleanup Dreams

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Dreamtime Tool

The Dream: A relative I know brings a suitcase in the house and tells me my cat has died, and is in the suitcase. He opens it and the cat falls out but starts a low growl in it's throat and we realize it is not dead at all. I tried to get my cat out but he doesn't know it's me immediately so I get some food and water and he tries to eat but then I realize part of his face if frozen. He turns to look at me and the entire area from under his eyes to the top of his mouth is frozen in ice.

I am very upset that he's been in the cold suitcase for this long and he's not even dead. The male relative who opened the suitcase tells me that Mom thought he was dead. She's not there. She's waiting outside in the car.

My take on the dream so far: Man, massive ego-clean-up dream (if that doesn't mean anything to you, please START HERE).

Here is the list of all the things that I was stressing over the day before (and woke up in the middle of the night, before this dream, still stressing over....

1. I am planning to travel but have concerns about leaving my cats because, while I have someone willing to come over and feed them, I have no one to be with them and make sure they get in at night and it's getting very cold here.

2. In planning my travel, I also have concerns about my Mom since her health has been fragile for some time now due to heart problems.

3. I hate cold weather, truly and deeply, and dread driving in it.

4. I have been releasing alcohol from my life in a very conscious way for some time now and the hardest times for me to choose staying free of it are when I'm stressed. I very consciously decided to drink again, after being completely alcohol-free for nine years. You can read about that part of my spiritual journey on this blog too but I don't know where that part starts...sorry.

Here are the correlations.....both the suitcase and mom being outside in the car point to travel.

Mom being in the car points to my concerns about leaving her and, perhaps, feelings I get from her that she wishes I wouldn't go too.

With my cat being inside the suitcase (representing the travel I want to do) that's directly addressing my fear of something happening to my cats while I'm away.

The fact that it's cold directly correlates to my very real dread of winter and, again, fear of the cats being caught outside overnight in the cold if they don't come when the cat-sitter calls them.

The male relative who had the suitcase also had a very serious drinking issue years ago so he was the perfect mirror for my own dance with that decision.

My cat's face being frozen points to all my fears....the cats being outside, getting cold and getting sick....me hating the cold.....and my struggles with letting go of concerns about my Mom's health.. etc.

I must say that's the most intense, obvious ego-clean up dream I've had in a long time. Not pleasant. It's a perfect outpicturing of what internal stress was doing to me and it's so good that we have the release mechanism of dreamtime to help us take the edge off these stressors.

It is my hope that, now that the ego-level stuff has been worked through a bit, it will open the door for a Medicine Dream.

Update, later in the day: The cat growling is not quite clear to me....I know he was angry that he'd be left for dead in the suitcase....not sure how that ties in and that may be the one element of the dream that is more than ego clean up. My personality self my be struggling far more deeply with feeling tied down right now, than I recognize on a conscious level because that's the only part of the dream that I can't tie directly into a known stressor.

Bookends

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Get more from your dreams

The Dream: I can't recall a lot of detail but I was bookending two particular areas of my life, literally. I was placing some type of bookend at the beginning and end of these two areas.

After the bookends were in place, I was in those situation frames. It was fascinating to think about this on waking. I bookended situations, NOT time.

In the situation frames that I had created with the bookends, I recall working very hard to resolve whatever issues were in the situation for me. One involved male relationships of an intimate nature (no real surprise there) and I can't recall what the second bookends contained.

My take on the dream so far:
I feel like congratulating myself for coming up with such an ingenious idea for singling out and containing what I needed to work on. It helped the dream stay totally focused on the work and contained it so that I could see all of it at once.

Bookends contain content, that is to say they hold it in place for easy access.

If I look at each of the two situations that were bookended, I could see them as books. Books begin, have a story and then they end. They can be finished at some point.

So, all in all, I think it's a positive step my mind is making toward finishing some unfinished emotional business.

There's also a song about bookends....was it Simon and Garfunkel? Wish I could remember the line I used to hang on to from that song. I think it could provide a clue.

Dreams about Celebrities: Dreams about Dr. Phil

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The Dream: I am in a room with Dr. Phil.

I'm looking at a computer screen, where I see a lot of cd's that he has created. I suddenly realize I could ask him to energize one of them for me, while I'm there with him so I ask.

I turn back to the screen and pick one with a girl on it but somehow end up with a cd with a boy on the cover. I realize that's not the one I wanted and try to choose again.

The second cd has an actress on it, about my age, and another actress who appears to be the mother of the first actress.

I choose a third time, still trying to get the girl, and end up with a boy on the cover again.

My take on the dream so far:
When I have dreams with celebrities, unless they play a character from a film or tv show they've done, I always ask myself what I think of them as people. I think Dr. Phil is sometimes confrontive, macho and controlling. I also think he is judgmental where I feel there should be neutrality at times.......

The hard part is all the Dr. Phil I see in me. That hard, rather redneck edge. And instead of getting the cd with the little girl, I kept getting a boy, the masculine.

The second cd has special significance due to an experience I had years ago and also due to the fact that I am an actress in real life.

Years ago, in a guided meditation, I saw two aspects of myself, the woman and the crone, in a very vivid way. In some way, this cd reminded me of that experience.

It also reminded me of my relationship with my own mother and of course, of my acting, so it was loaded.

What I liked was that both the first woman and her "mother" were actors. I remember hearing something Bill Harris said on the Centerpointe tapes, which I use. It had to do with remembering that our experience on this earth was not who we truly are but just one role we are playing.

Bill compared it to acting on a stage. He said (and I'm paraphrasing) if a person on stage was playing Hamlet and thought it was real, it would be a horrible experience. The actor knows it's just a play and so he has a great time even though it's intense and emotions are real.

I think the second cd was reminding me that myself and my mother had agreement to be together here, to play out certain experiences, but that believing I was responsible for her life would be like the actor forgetting he was in a play. And believing that whatever happens here is some kind of tragedy, is like forgetting that our souls are eternal and this life is just a blip on the radar of our path.

Choosing Dr. Phil to "energize" my cd meant that I'm out of balance with the masculine. Either I don't have enough or I have too much. I think, looking at my own Dr. Phil tendencies of controlling, judgment and agression of expression, it may be the latter.

In any case, the dream points to balancing my male and female aspects and also, remembering the big picture of this existence more than the little picture in front of me.

Note: This dream is in stark contrast to one I had earlier, where I had a loving intimate male relationship but it may be pointing to the same issue.

Night dreams about day things

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Dream Development Resource

Tedious dreaming lately. That's why I haven't posted for a while. Sometimes, I hit spells where my dreams are so obviously just rehashing the events of the day and letting off steam about anxieties and fears that there isn't really any deep message possible.

That's the way it's been for about a week now. Whatever frustrations I have during the day, I rehash in my dreams.

It's not wasted time since it helps release excess emotions about the frustrations but it is not nearly as fulfilling as when I can work thru to some type of higher awareness in the dream or as a result of the dream.

What my dreams are telling me right now is that I'm disconnected from Higher Guidance and bogged down in the day to day struggle. So, I am focusing on shifting that so that I can get my rich dreamtime back.

What a lovely dream

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Learn from your dreams

The Dream Snippet: I'm in a balanced, healthy very lovely relationship with a man.

I can't remember anything specific, like his face, name, etc. Nothing stands out about him but what felt so good was the balance that I felt in the relationship. It's not something I've yet ever manifested in a real relationship.

My Take on the dream so far:

Well, I'm sure all kinds of freudian interpretations might apply but, to me, the sense I got on waking was just that something had shifted for me after the dream where my old mate comes up and says he loves me, something positive.

I honestly have no desire to be in a relationship but the dream seemed to say that something in that arena was healing, to even have a dream where it was so lovely and balanced and where there seemed to be no other message. In other words, I looked for hot spots in the dream that made me uncomfortable, or places where colors or other aspects were too vivid. Those are usually signs that a message is veiled in that part of the dream. There weren't any stand out phrases, parts of the dream, colors, things, etc. The whole dream was pleasant and the main aspect that I woke with was a feeling of balance regarding male/female dynamics.